My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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