Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize