Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
