awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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