oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
