i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Randomize
