i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
