Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
