Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
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