so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Randomize
