shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
