Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
