jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
