Whoa Z and x make the same sound
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
