yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
When did angry sex become our thing?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
