You work out of a Hotel?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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