You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
