i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
