I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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