i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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