I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
everyone is single if you try hard enough
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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