I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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