It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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