I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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