In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
