So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
True college students do jello shots in the library
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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