I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
These tits shall not be calmed
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
