Nicole vs. Life
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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