Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
