enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
