you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
