I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize