dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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