No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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