I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
