sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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