I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
