pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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