Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
we made out on top of his cat.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
as a side note pls kill me
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