Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize