theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Randomize
