We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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