The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
