I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
