St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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