i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
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