He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
