I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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