I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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