I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
