forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize