I am in a vortex of obligation.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
