i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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