I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
