i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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