Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
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