ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
okay pat passed out under dana's car
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
