Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
