Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Randomize
