____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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