Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
you would pick up someone in the library
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
