Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
